Sunday, 10 October 2010

The Cat's Hour

The following story is an extract from my cat's journal (to be taken with a grain of salt).

Meow! My name is Piper and I am a housecat. So they tell me. I don’t want to be a housecat. I never did. I try to tell the tall creatures but they never pay attention. So I bide my time and I wait for opportunity to strike.
One day the see-through wall swings open, and it stays that way. This is new. The tall creatures have not noticed. No one to block me this is my chance.
I run. I run for all it’s worth. Down the stairs, round the smooth path. At last I am out. I am free, and I can go anywhere. Meow! This is too exciting. There is so much to choose from. Where to first?
I see an unnatural patch of grass. I wonder over there. Chewing on the grass. I don’t do this often. I notice big yellow smelly things amongst the grass. I do like. 

I move on further up the path and notice the largest scratching post I have ever seen in my life. There are birds at the top. I am going to make this post mine.
I leap into the air, claws out, ready to grab the bark. Meow! I’m on… Oh meow! I’m off. I hit the ground. The scratching post has torn away. I brought some of it with me. Dodgy scratching post! How am I supposed to play with the birds?
The birds are laughing. Laughing at me? I’ll show them. I’ll make them see. I look around. Meow! I see a wall. I can take it. One push off is all it takes. I’m up. The birds are closer to me, and they know it. They squawk and storm from above.
‘Yes, my lovelies, come into my mouth’, I sing to the birds. The noise continues, and I am being pelted with leaves.
I consider my next move. How to get closer to the birds?
I am surprised. Meow! Something warm and hard clamps down on me. I am falling. But I am not falling. It is more of a pull. I am off the wall. I am dangling. It is the tall she creature. She has a grip on me. She looks relieved, but she sounds upset.
She’s upset? What about me? I might not have this opportunity again.
I am carried up a familiar path, up the stairs and back into the indoor obstacle course.
One week later: The bloody tall creatures have put a collar on me. Meow!!!